Okay i don't know whether i've put this in the bloggie before. but it would be nice to have a revival.
Office romance disasters
- Office romance may be a bit taboo, but let's face it, almost everybody does it – or at least thinks about it...
Don't mix business with pleasure…Don't get laid where you get paid…Never dip your pen in office ink…Never bring the bedroom into the boardroom…Friends, family and relationship gurus are always advising us to never to get involved with anyone we work with. But again and again, we do.
According to a survey by DatingDirect.com, nearly 60% of men and women believe office romances are best avoided. However, 53% said they would still consider having an office romance, 45% of women have had one and 8% of women had to leave their job because of it.
Let's face it, at some point or other we've probably all done it – either gotten involved, or tried and failed. The world is rife with tales of woe, like the man who had an email exchange with a girl he worked with, describing in intimate detail what he would do to her, and vice versa, in the bedroom… the kitchen, the lounge and the bathroom. But it turned into disaster when it transpired she had been having similar conversations with most of the men she worked with. Needless to say, all their egos took a bit of a bashing when they each found out they weren't the sole object of this girl's affection, and she probably wasn't so popular after that.
Jilted IT man
The company Hannah works for has a Bristol and Manchester office. 'I work in the Bristol office and I used to flirt like mad on the phone and over email with a very sexy sounding IT guy based in our Manchester office,' she says.
'After a few months, the whole company went to on an overnight conference and I met the IT guy for the first time. We were getting on really well and a handful of us decided to go to a club after the conference. After one too many drinks, however, I lost my IT man and ended up going back to my hotel room with one of the guys from the Bristol office. The flirting with the IT guy promptly stopped and now I have to deal with the unwanted attention of my Bristol colleague!' Hannah laments.
Phone freak-out
If you are going to pursue someone you work with, make sure you give out consistent signals, unlike Marcus who was flirting like mad one minute and then ignoring the poor girl the next.
He'd been locked out of his flat for over an hour in the rain so he frantically dialled what he thought was his housemate's number to get her to let him in. 'She had her music turned up really loud so she couldn't hear the phone; I was so annoyed,' said Marcus. 'When I eventually got in, I was telling her how many times I'd called her before she heard the phone. When I showed her the last dialed numbers on my mobile I realised I'd been repeatedly calling the number of the office administrator who I'd been chatting up over the last few weeks!'
Needless to say when his colleague saw the missed calls on her mobile she called Marcus back. Too embarrassed by the dozen or so calls he'd accidentally made, Marcus ignored her, only to be met on Monday morning with the cold shoulder and a pile of expense forms that had been declined
Caught – but happy
Of course, not all office romances end in disaster. Kate worked with Ben for just under a year before they started seeing each other. 'We spent months having to play hide and seek around the office for fear of being found out by work colleagues, only to actually get caught in a restaurant back home in Reading!'
They no longer have to sneak around however as they got married just over a year ago and are complete with a mortgage, joint bank account, pension fund and their two cats Rosie and Daisy.
So, ladies we clearly have two options:
1. Spend all of our working days not looking up from our computers in the hope of avoiding eye contact with any male colleague who could lead to a broken heart (and/or a possible loss of job), or
2. Approach any potential office romance with caution in the hope of finding Mr. Right as well as holding on to well sought after job with very handy expense account.
If, like myself, you'll do anything to pass the time of day quicker, I'm pretty sure you're thinking option 2 sounds best. So just in case, read our office romance do's and don'ts. Good luck!
1.Do find out what the office policy is
As bizarre as it sounds some companies actually state that employees should refrain from developing personal relationships with a colleague. Before you embark on your office romance, check out what your company thinks of inter-office dating
2.Don't embark on any type of personal relationship at work…
… unless you're prepared to give up everything for the sake of that relationship – including your job and your work friends. Petty as it may sound, some of your colleagues won't agree with your dating a guy from the office, so unless you're able to deal with the snide comments and dirty looks, keep your relationship purely platonic
3.Do remember you are reliant on your salary
The money you earn at this job keeps you in food and rent, so don't do anything during office hours that could jeopardise your ability to keep a roof over your head and food on your plate
4.Don't do anything if something you value is at stake
If you are already in a relationship, if you enjoy your job, or if you are on target for a promotion, just think what you could lose if the fling with the guy in accounts goes belly-up…ask yourself if it's really worth it?
5.Do be sure of what you are looking for
If you spend all day working with someone and then have to go home with them, it could get very tedious very quickly. If it ends badly, it would be horrible having to face each other every day, so make sure you both know what it is you're after from the beginning, be it a one night stand, a few casual dates or happily ever after
6.Do avoid senior management
Unless you're certain it's true love, steer clear of the top dogs. If things don't work out between you he's got a hold over you for the duration of your time with that company. Even worse, if you get found out, there could be accusations of favouritism or of sharing confidential management information. It could be both of your jobs on the line and he's likely to value his salary over your fling, so it could mean no job and no man in the end
8.Don't send saucy emails via the work system
It's oh so tempting to take those flirty email conversations just that little bit further, but remember these little babies stay on the system for quite some time and it won't take a computer buff to find them. If you do get the urge for some literal lovin', try texting each other instead (unless of course you're a world famous football player)
9.Do remember that you will be the source of office gossip
It's none of their business; they don't even know you that well, so why should they bother passing comment about who you date? Well, too bad. Office gossip is present in any company no matter how small. If you don't want your private life to become the source of office gossip, then don't date anyone you work with. However, if you and a colleague are going to go out on a few dates then you have to be prepared to answer questions…of course you are under no obligation to answer them truthfully
10.Don't get a taxi home with just you and him
It could be totally harmless, but it could also lead to rumours being spread like wild fire throughout the office – did they? Didn't they? He said they did; she's denying everything… Better to drag the boss into the cab with you than become the source of office gossip, whether it's true or not
11.Don't get too drunk at office parties
Always a big mistake - neither of you will be thinking clearly and one or both of you are likely to wake up the next morning wishing it hadn't happened, or worse, wondering if the other person regrets it. Have a drink and enjoy the flirting, but if things are going to go that stage further make sure you're sober when it does
12.Do be as open as possible with your boss
If it's serious, bite the bullet and tell the boss. Even if you keep it a secret from everyone else, it would be worthwhile informing your manager of the situation so that it won't have repercussions later on. It's likely to be embarrassing, but could be beneficial in the long term
12.Don't get caught doing non-work-related activities during work time
The last thing you want when in the midst of a passionate snog in the stationery cupboard is for the office manager to come looking for a new ink cartridge for the printer. Be sensible - if you can't keep your hands off each other until the end of the day, pop out at lunch time and go somewhere your colleagues are unlikely to see you
13.Do be careful what you say
If the romance does develop into something more, be careful what you say to colleagues about him and the relationship. Discussing intimate details with people you and he have to work with will only serve to make everyone uncomfortable
14.Do respect each other's feelings
Even more so than at the start of a normal relationship, when dating someone from work, you need to know how they feel about friends/colleagues knowing the two of you are seeing each other. If he acts like he's embarrassed of your romance, then forget it. If however he just wants to get to know you better without everyone butting in, then you should be respectful of that
Office romance disasters
- Office romance may be a bit taboo, but let's face it, almost everybody does it – or at least thinks about it...
Don't mix business with pleasure…Don't get laid where you get paid…Never dip your pen in office ink…Never bring the bedroom into the boardroom…Friends, family and relationship gurus are always advising us to never to get involved with anyone we work with. But again and again, we do.
According to a survey by DatingDirect.com, nearly 60% of men and women believe office romances are best avoided. However, 53% said they would still consider having an office romance, 45% of women have had one and 8% of women had to leave their job because of it.
Let's face it, at some point or other we've probably all done it – either gotten involved, or tried and failed. The world is rife with tales of woe, like the man who had an email exchange with a girl he worked with, describing in intimate detail what he would do to her, and vice versa, in the bedroom… the kitchen, the lounge and the bathroom. But it turned into disaster when it transpired she had been having similar conversations with most of the men she worked with. Needless to say, all their egos took a bit of a bashing when they each found out they weren't the sole object of this girl's affection, and she probably wasn't so popular after that.
Jilted IT man
The company Hannah works for has a Bristol and Manchester office. 'I work in the Bristol office and I used to flirt like mad on the phone and over email with a very sexy sounding IT guy based in our Manchester office,' she says.
'After a few months, the whole company went to on an overnight conference and I met the IT guy for the first time. We were getting on really well and a handful of us decided to go to a club after the conference. After one too many drinks, however, I lost my IT man and ended up going back to my hotel room with one of the guys from the Bristol office. The flirting with the IT guy promptly stopped and now I have to deal with the unwanted attention of my Bristol colleague!' Hannah laments.
Phone freak-out
If you are going to pursue someone you work with, make sure you give out consistent signals, unlike Marcus who was flirting like mad one minute and then ignoring the poor girl the next.
He'd been locked out of his flat for over an hour in the rain so he frantically dialled what he thought was his housemate's number to get her to let him in. 'She had her music turned up really loud so she couldn't hear the phone; I was so annoyed,' said Marcus. 'When I eventually got in, I was telling her how many times I'd called her before she heard the phone. When I showed her the last dialed numbers on my mobile I realised I'd been repeatedly calling the number of the office administrator who I'd been chatting up over the last few weeks!'
Needless to say when his colleague saw the missed calls on her mobile she called Marcus back. Too embarrassed by the dozen or so calls he'd accidentally made, Marcus ignored her, only to be met on Monday morning with the cold shoulder and a pile of expense forms that had been declined
Caught – but happy
Of course, not all office romances end in disaster. Kate worked with Ben for just under a year before they started seeing each other. 'We spent months having to play hide and seek around the office for fear of being found out by work colleagues, only to actually get caught in a restaurant back home in Reading!'
They no longer have to sneak around however as they got married just over a year ago and are complete with a mortgage, joint bank account, pension fund and their two cats Rosie and Daisy.
So, ladies we clearly have two options:
1. Spend all of our working days not looking up from our computers in the hope of avoiding eye contact with any male colleague who could lead to a broken heart (and/or a possible loss of job), or
2. Approach any potential office romance with caution in the hope of finding Mr. Right as well as holding on to well sought after job with very handy expense account.
If, like myself, you'll do anything to pass the time of day quicker, I'm pretty sure you're thinking option 2 sounds best. So just in case, read our office romance do's and don'ts. Good luck!
1.Do find out what the office policy is
As bizarre as it sounds some companies actually state that employees should refrain from developing personal relationships with a colleague. Before you embark on your office romance, check out what your company thinks of inter-office dating
2.Don't embark on any type of personal relationship at work…
… unless you're prepared to give up everything for the sake of that relationship – including your job and your work friends. Petty as it may sound, some of your colleagues won't agree with your dating a guy from the office, so unless you're able to deal with the snide comments and dirty looks, keep your relationship purely platonic
3.Do remember you are reliant on your salary
The money you earn at this job keeps you in food and rent, so don't do anything during office hours that could jeopardise your ability to keep a roof over your head and food on your plate
4.Don't do anything if something you value is at stake
If you are already in a relationship, if you enjoy your job, or if you are on target for a promotion, just think what you could lose if the fling with the guy in accounts goes belly-up…ask yourself if it's really worth it?
5.Do be sure of what you are looking for
If you spend all day working with someone and then have to go home with them, it could get very tedious very quickly. If it ends badly, it would be horrible having to face each other every day, so make sure you both know what it is you're after from the beginning, be it a one night stand, a few casual dates or happily ever after
6.Do avoid senior management
Unless you're certain it's true love, steer clear of the top dogs. If things don't work out between you he's got a hold over you for the duration of your time with that company. Even worse, if you get found out, there could be accusations of favouritism or of sharing confidential management information. It could be both of your jobs on the line and he's likely to value his salary over your fling, so it could mean no job and no man in the end
8.Don't send saucy emails via the work system
It's oh so tempting to take those flirty email conversations just that little bit further, but remember these little babies stay on the system for quite some time and it won't take a computer buff to find them. If you do get the urge for some literal lovin', try texting each other instead (unless of course you're a world famous football player)
9.Do remember that you will be the source of office gossip
It's none of their business; they don't even know you that well, so why should they bother passing comment about who you date? Well, too bad. Office gossip is present in any company no matter how small. If you don't want your private life to become the source of office gossip, then don't date anyone you work with. However, if you and a colleague are going to go out on a few dates then you have to be prepared to answer questions…of course you are under no obligation to answer them truthfully
10.Don't get a taxi home with just you and him
It could be totally harmless, but it could also lead to rumours being spread like wild fire throughout the office – did they? Didn't they? He said they did; she's denying everything… Better to drag the boss into the cab with you than become the source of office gossip, whether it's true or not
11.Don't get too drunk at office parties
Always a big mistake - neither of you will be thinking clearly and one or both of you are likely to wake up the next morning wishing it hadn't happened, or worse, wondering if the other person regrets it. Have a drink and enjoy the flirting, but if things are going to go that stage further make sure you're sober when it does
12.Do be as open as possible with your boss
If it's serious, bite the bullet and tell the boss. Even if you keep it a secret from everyone else, it would be worthwhile informing your manager of the situation so that it won't have repercussions later on. It's likely to be embarrassing, but could be beneficial in the long term
12.Don't get caught doing non-work-related activities during work time
The last thing you want when in the midst of a passionate snog in the stationery cupboard is for the office manager to come looking for a new ink cartridge for the printer. Be sensible - if you can't keep your hands off each other until the end of the day, pop out at lunch time and go somewhere your colleagues are unlikely to see you
13.Do be careful what you say
If the romance does develop into something more, be careful what you say to colleagues about him and the relationship. Discussing intimate details with people you and he have to work with will only serve to make everyone uncomfortable
14.Do respect each other's feelings
Even more so than at the start of a normal relationship, when dating someone from work, you need to know how they feel about friends/colleagues knowing the two of you are seeing each other. If he acts like he's embarrassed of your romance, then forget it. If however he just wants to get to know you better without everyone butting in, then you should be respectful of that
posted by Edwina at
6:54 PM
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